Palfrey's life

FFS. I'm so scrambled right now it's not even fun. I'm commenting on my previous post, because I want to say something else here. That post was friends-only (not any more), for the reason that I didn't particularly want Kate to know about my even meeting Eva. *That's* major grade fucked up. I'm not going out with her, and given all the assorted problems that a relationship would have (no. 1- the fricking distance), odds are roughly snowball in hell. Yet, part of me feels like I'm betraying her just by having romantic possibilities with someone else. Heck, there's pretty good odds that nothing will come out of my contact with Eva, but still there's the guilt. Gah, it's almost like I'm bloody Catholic or something - I'm feeling guilty about something I haven't done yet, and probably won't, because it might be betraying someone that I'm not connected to enough to be betraying. Fuck.... and I wonder why it's been 15 months between kisses.

I'm not sure here, maybe Kate is still reading all of this. Fug it, let's go with honesty here, because quite frankly I can't think of a better idea right now. That, and friends-only posts suck dead slugs thru a straw, mostly because they don't show up unless you're logged in - which most of the time I only do when I post a comment.

Ok, random geeky thoughts - mostly my attempts to do other things than be scrambled. Been watching thru Angel and ST:DS9 eps. May I be the 9 zillonth fanboy to declare the Defiant seriously fucking rules! For fans of it, watch 3x19 ("Through the Looking glass") and see Sisko pilot that thing *around* a Cardassian space ship (ok, cardy design, but mostly Klingon piloted, blame the mirror universe) - like literally hugging the hull and shooting all shit out of it. The Defiant under Sisko's command effectively seems to be able to chew up anything in its path, big stuff, small stuff, whatever. Why the hell Starfleet doesn't build lots of them (haven't watched beyond 3x20 yet, so don't tell me if they do) is beyond me.....

Oh, and the meme:

First real kiss: Aged 18, Lizzie McGawley, spin-the-bottle game. Ah, the memories.
First Job: Newspaper round
First screen name: Taipei (I liked the Windows version of the game)
First self purchased album: Michael Jackson - Dangerous
First funeral: paternal grandfather.
First pets: Probably a tropical fish of some sort in the family tank
First piercing: None, and no intention to do so. Would welcome augmentation tho!
First true love: Joanna Mundy, years 9-11.
First big trip: Uh, probably to grandmothers - not that major, but probably seemed bigger when I was younger.
Last big car ride: Ealing->Delft with parents and lots of my gear
Last kiss: August 26th 2002
Last good cry: Damned if I know, it's been a long time.
Last movie seen: Matrix Revolutions
Last beverage: cup of tea (dutch style, as I've run out of milk)
Last food consumed: orange
Last phone call: parents, weekly call
Last TV show watched: dunno, don't watch much actual TV these days. Divx'ed stuff, as opposed to actually off of a TV - Angel 3x20
Last shoes worn: Random trainers
Last CD played: Nada Surf - The Proximity Effect
Last item bought: new headphones for MP3 player
Last disappointment: That the witbier I tried last night wasn't any good. Meant I stayed fairly sober tho, which was probably overall a good thing
Last soda drank: Can o' coke on Friday, grabbed between Distributed systems lectures.
Last ice cream eaten: Uh, good question. Last one I can remember was in Cornwall last summer, but I'm sure I would have had *something* this summer.
Last shirt worn: yellow thinkgeek "Kung Foo" t-shirt.