Palfrey's life

The song is appropriate, but not so. I think i've just done it again. I build all these imaginary scenarios in my head, and then somewhere along the line part of me forgets they're just smoke and mirrors, and starts to believe in them. Then something happens, something that breaks the chirpy little fantasy, and suddenly I crash. Heck, in this case AFAIK nothing has actually happened yet, but certain things have combined that are enough to break the fantasy, and to send me into this fucking irritating downward spiral. For all I know, I'm grabbing the whole wrong end of the stick, but I'm willing to bet that even if I'm wrong it's still a wakeup call.

Go and have your post-exam fun people, I would never begrudge you that, but I think that's partially what's set me off. I've got a weekend consisting of programming on pet projects, watching Voyager and revising for the Dutch exam. Some of that is things I enjoy doing, but I'd rather be out with people, I'd rather be out doing crazy shit that I'll probably regret a little bit when the photos go up on the web, but that'll I'll still do nonetheless. *Sigh* I *really* need to get this sorted out at some point. Wallowing in self-pity sucks :-(